The recent resignation of Berti Vogts as national manager of Scotland was greeted with great interest by me. It is plain to see this once great nation have become the new underachievers of British International football. This news may have been greeted with joy and jigging in Englandshire, but as a Canadian I have marvelled at Archie Gemmill’s control and finish numerous times, and I am fully aware just how great a nation Scotland is.
It is in everybody’s interest to get Scotland firmly planted back on the world map. That is where I believe I can be of use. I have enclosed a CV with some of my more detailed experiences, but to give you a feel of my vibe I will run through some of my better attributes.
Firstly a new manager must understand the passion of the fans. As a Seahawks supporter I know all about passion. Not only have I drunk with Scot’s on Edinburgh’s Princess Street I have also seen the film Braveheart four times, and in this year's BB5 I voted for Jason to win. I have also witnessed the unrivalled passion of Scottish football fans first hand when they tore Sunderland up during Gary Bennett’s testimonial.
Secondly I am a firm believer in first hand experience. I have taken control of ‘The Tap Shop fives' at Craigswood, during my enforced absence with an enlarged testicle. My spell as manager included a record 9-1 win against the much flaunted ‘Gilmore's Five’. This win was done without me and arguably the team’s best player Graeme "Monkey Killer" Marshall. My record on PC game Championship Manager also yields great success. Firstly having won numerous Premiership titles with Hearts, my proudest achievement was taking Black Bull Panthers from Non League obscurity to Premiership boot boys.
Thirdly every team needs a backbone. At Scotland I firmly believe the backbone to a good team is already in place. The Sunderland striker Kevin Kyle would be a mainstay in my team. Not only has he a physical presence, he also has first hand experience of luggage handling, so maybe we could combine the two jobs. Steven Caldwell to me sums up Scottish football. Not only has he got ginger hair, he lacks a certain amount of ability which he makes up for with grit & determination. Stevie C is skipper material if ever I saw it. I have also taken the liberty of checking some dual nationalities out. Midfield maestro Ramon Pereira's grandmother hails from Summeraisle in the Scottish highlands, so technically he is eligible. Pair him up with a newly washed Barry Ferguson and I feel you have a midfield that can compete with anybody in the world.
My fourth point regards backroom staff. Obviously you would have the final say, but I could bring with me a dossier of ideas and names. I won’t go into much detail now but I happen to know Hibs legend Callum Milne is after a route back into football and that ex Scotland institution Peter Smith would bring fresh ideas and some trickery to the new regime.
I know I will have to come to terms with the Scottish mentality. I can assure you I am willing to wear a kilt, and eat haggis and given time my blood pressure will be high enough to develop bloodshot cheeks and a big red nose. This I feel will endear me to the great people of Scotland.
Finally to get the crowd and players revved up before each game, I suggest that an audio clip from the film Braveheart is played when the teams run out. Feel the passion when 50,000 fans pack into Hampden as this is played “Aye, fight and you may die, run, and you'll live... at least a while. And dying in your beds, many years from now, would you be willing' to trade all of that from this day to that, for one chance, just one chance, to come back here and tell our enemies that they may take away our lives, but they'll never take our freedom.”
I hope I have made a case for myself. Please look at the enclosed CV and I look forward to hearing from you.
Many regards
Robin McCrum
C/O Tap Shop, Mid Calder
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Barry George is an innocent man Sean Hodgson is an innocent man
Scotland caretaker manager Tommy Burns says he would be interested in taking the job on a permanent basis. But if Mr Burn is tempted to take over, it seems almost certain take his old pal Robin McCrum(Boy Wonder) as his assistant manager.
David Taylor, wee warning Boy Wonder is fat, bald and talk a load of pi** aboot football!!..
There is no way that the job should be given to Kenny. He would be a dreadfull manager. As Severed said. He would walk away as soon as results went against him......stress....oh the stress. Bye!!
Whit aboot Gordon Strachan he walked away too because wee man said "wanted tae spend time with his family". That bull s**t. It was too much for him or that the further he got with Southampton!!..
it will take a very strong man that will take the job. "King Kenny" was a terrific played but he is a pussy. he doesnt have the nuts to take the job. neither does wee Gordon. he is all talk when all he has to do is talk about it, but now..........no manager and........................no one has heard from wee strachan.
the only men that will try to drag us out of this **** heep is an older manager trying to get back into the game. or a man that has enough hair on his ass to step up to the job.
by the way it is 10:15 on a saturday and i m at the computer sober. i have done this to prove to myself that i am not dependent on drink.
but i will be at hq at 12:30 sharp tommorrow.
BOBO. STOP TALKING PASH, YA FANNYDICK
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i turned and said.."there is only one team is going to win this game Shug.....BANG Italy went 2-1 ahead.
I believe that Walter Smith will be the next manager. Anyone who disagrees should listen to the new Green Day album. Full of uplifting tunes. Kept me awake tonight when all the young ladies I'd hired to give me pleasure had left. Between tracks I kept hearing a voice which said "waaaaaaaaalter".
Then the Jack Daniels finished..............
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Barry George is an innocent man Sean Hodgson is an innocent man
How aboot Gie the Tommy Burns a chance and let him take over for a year and whit ye lot saying then?
(Better run and hide)
